i hate being up by myself because it leads to me over thinking about my decisions ive made.
ive recently quit my job as a pharmacy technician at costco. i was getting paid $12/hr with medical, dental and 401 k benefits; but i was so unhappy. i couldnt stand my job; the fact that i never got to spend much time with my boyfriend, my dog and my friends and nephews. i disliked that i got yelled at for reasons that i had absolutely nothing to do with. i got so upset everyday by the awful things people would say to me. i disliked my job more and more every single day i step foot into that pharmacy.
im not going to lie, there was good things about it. i got out before the store closed, i was making consistent hours and i was good at what i did.
but i started thinking about what i wanted in life. i seen how my coworkers couldnt wait to leave work everyday, hardly ever did a day go by without someone being mad. i felt like it was the same thing every day i went in.
so i quit.
i spent most of my money from my last paycheck already. buying some jewelry online, workout videos, movies and a laptop that im using right now; and now i am relying on my bf to be our sole provider. ive had to do it a little when he hurt his back, for about a couple months. but he was at least getting something in his checks to help me pay for something.
my fear, is that i let everyone down. that my vision doesnt come out the way i plan and i end up unhappy anyways. than it will all have been for nothing. and than i remember i might not make it that far to even see my dream even close to being done. all i can do is be happy with what i have because i cant control what is going to happen to me. i can make the decisions but i can not control the outcome of everything i chose to do in my life.
so, whoever is reading this, i want you to know that you dont have to worry about your future. you should only worry about whats happening now. because NOW is what really matters, you might not make it to see tomorrow, or even the next hour. life is short. do what you want that makes you happy aslong as youre not bring unhappiness to others.
spread peace and love and happiness everywhere you go.